I am at the tail end of what has been quite a mean chest infection. It crept up on me after the fabulous Celebrate Life party (our Less Ordinary annual alternative to the company xmas do!) last Tuesday. I ignored it for a bit and then BAM last Thursday morning, after one too many late nights, it hit me square in my chest. As an asthmatic, this is never fun.
(Grateful for my central heating, memory foam mattress, Kleenex balsams, and turmeric in everything. Onwards...)
Last week in my therapy session we were exploring a block I've had for a while (around letting people help me) and my therapist invited me to have a conversation with my inner critic. (FYI my inner critic's name is 'Ms Judge'.)
An interesting conversation took place between the two of us (me and Ms Judge). I told her that no matter how hard she pretended she wasn't scared, I knew she was and that it is ok to be scared. And that it is also ok to desire support from others, and it is ok to ask for help.
I told Ms Judge that she doesn't protect us by keeping people & their support away. I reassured her that we are no longer in a place in life where people who offer to help us are doing it to harm us (during my teenage years this was my story). I also told her that I don't want to pretend that everything is a-ok when it isn't.
I realised that Ms Judge's fears about being hurt and judged by others have been holding me back from asking for the help that I need.
It was a liberating experience and I left that therapy session feeling like a massive weight had lifted from me.
The whole putting on a brave face no matter what you are facing and showing up despite how you feel is a programme that I learned at a very young age. They are survival mantras I know that my mum still stands by today, and before last week I thought they were coping strategies we no longer shared. But now I know I still have a way to go... especially when Ms Judge is involved!
Following that amazing dialogue exercise, I went home and did something I've never, ever done, I asked the universe for precisely the help I need.
Ms Judge was not happy, but I trusted my intuition. I calmly told her this is how we are going to learn to get better at asking for and receiving the help we need without fear of repercussion.
We grow best outside our comfort zone and this was me jumping all the way out of mine. And just look what has happened since I got hella vulnerable and asked for help! As I type, 77 real-life angels from all over the world have donated over £2,500.00 (in less than four days) towards the cost of the surgery that I need. Stunning.
The lesson? Well there are quite a few:
It is ok to ask for help
It is powerful to ask for what I need
People want to help
I am powerful when I am vulnerable
There is more than one way to manifest what I need.
(Feel free to use these as mantras if they resonate).
So, what help do you need right now?
As you find yourself immersed in the annual season of (delete as appropriate): office parties, family gatherings, solstices, retrogrades (surely we've had enough of them in 2018 by now?!) and end of year celebrations, I invite you to check in with yourself:
How might your inner critic be holding you back from asking for the help that you need right now?
What is the conversation you could have with them to reassure them that it is time for change?
What help do you need and who could you ask for support?
Sometimes, we need to ask a loved one for support. Sometimes, we need to ask the world at large.
And sometimes we need to ask an expert.
The support that I receive from both my coach (on a monthly basis) and my therapist (on a weekly basis) are invaluable. They are both playing different roles to help me to transform my life into one I totally adore.
I want this kind of lasting, positive change for you too - it's why I set up A Life Less Ordinary Wanted in 2014!
So, if you feel that you need some confidential support and time with an expert who has your best interests at heart, myself and my team are here to serve you this December.
Right now we have a variety of levels of 121 support available:
1 - If you need a focused conversation (30 minutes): We have a limited number of laser coaching calls with me and laser therapy calls with Simone (our Head of Therapy) available to book before Friday 28th December.
2 - If you want to reflect on & learn from this year and / or to plan and get ready for next year: Sandra and I are offering a limited number of 121 Less Ordinary Coaching sessions over the holiday season:
2018 wrap up and review coaching session (1 hour) - your coach will support you to assess your progress on your goals, your personal / professional growth, the keys lessons you've learned and what you are committed to letting go of and leaving in 2018
2019 intentions and goals coaching session (1 hour) - your coach will help you to get clear on your focus areas for growth, development and transformation in 2019, identify your goals and the first steps you need to take and start crafting a clear action plan so you can get straight to work
2018 wrap up & review and 2019 intentions & goals combi session (2 hours) - your coach will support you all outcomes listed above on a two hour long coaching video call
If you would like to find out more about these individual 121 Less Ordinary Coaching sessions and how to book please email me by this Friday 6PM GMT.
3 - If you think you would benefit from longer term support next year: you can book a complimentary call with me to find out more about our Less Ordinary Coaching programmes and / or book a complimentary call with one of our therapists to find out more about Less Ordinary Therapy.
4 - Finally, if you are London based you might like to join us in person for a transformative one day retreat on Saturday 12th January: The Beginning. We will be holding space for you to design the 2019 of your heart's desires. You will leave having set clear intentions & goals for next year and created an action plan to make it all happen. Just a few early bird tickets are left now!
Myself and my fantastic team are here to support you on your journey, so as ever please do get in touch directly with any questions
And finally, as we enter one of the busiest most social times of the year, please give yourself permission to ask for the help that you need - you never know what magic could happen!