My greatest lessons of 2018

“What you do everyday matters more than what you do once in a while.”  - Gretchen Rubin

“What you do everyday matters more than what you do once in a while.” - Gretchen Rubin

I hope you’re having a wonderful last day of 2018. And if you’re not, I hope you are being kind and loving towards yourself.

I’ve learned so much this year.

One of my greatest lessons has been how powerful perspective is.

I’ve often said: What you focus on you empower. Where your attention goes, your energy flows.

And this year has certainly tested this theory! I don’t know about you, but this year has been one full of trials, tribulations, loss heartache and major challenges.

But it has also had its fair share of blessings, triumphs, lessons, deep healing and growth.

Would the latter have arrived at my door all without my experiences of the former? I now believe the answer is no.

And so I am slowly learning to become more open to life’s challenges, life’s pain, life’s troughs, and life’s hiccups. Whenever they arise I know that they are there to stretch me, to teach me, to show me what else needs healing and what lessons I’ve not yet fully learned.

The trials come to show me where I still have Work to do.

I cannot determine what is going to happen, but I can always decide how I respond. Thanks to meditation I now experience a much bigger gap between the 'something happening' and the response I give. It used to more often than not at best be a defensive knee-jerk reaction!

I’ve learned in that growing gap that my response is so influenced by the perspective I choose to adopt:

- Are people being mean to me on purpose? Or are people dealing with their own heavy loads and so are not able to consider my needs right now?

- Am I being left out? Or are people unsure how to interact with me because of the vibe I am giving off? (NB – I personally perfected the perfect ‘leave me alone’ vibe when I was about four years old!)

Here are some of the most formative experiences I’ve had this year where my choice of perspective has been crucial to both my emotional wellbeing and mental health:

- I had my heart broken. I learned I am still able to fall in love. I realised I am now ready to receive love. I experienced an unconditional love connection with a beautiful soul.

- I discovered how much trauma and pain from my past I have yet to process and release. I finally found a caring, experienced psychotherapist who is helping me to let go of the past and unpack the 'scary' boxes in a way that works for me.

- I found out I urgently need to have a very expensive operation that the NHS can no longer fund due to cuts. I learned how powerful it is to ask for help and how generous and supportive people can be when they know you need help.

- In my journey of emotional reconnection, I have had some very challenging energy-based experiences. I have finally embraced my calling as a Healer and started Reiki training. I will be offering 121 energy healing sessions from March 2019.

I am now consciously choosing my daily perspective every morning during my Reiki self-treatment. In more & more interactions with others, I am able to choose my perspective of one of love and light.

It doesn’t always work out, but I feel so much more in flow and free. I feel liberated. I feel more whole. I feel more me.

And so my daily perspective of choice is this:

Life is a beautiful, wondrous adventure. Life is truly kind. The universe is always supporting me. I am loved, valued and cared for. I am responsible for my experience of life and for meeting my needs.

Compassion has been also been a very big theme for me this year. Similarly to gratitude, I’ve understood it before now in a very logical sense, but not really felt or experienced it an emotional level. That is until I met a special soul in July who showered me with so much compassion, kindness and love she broke the lock on my heart wide open.

I want to give thanks to the phenomenal Sarah Blondin, a meditation teacher who I have never met. She has helped me navigate so much of the deep healing work I committed to seeing through this year. She's taught me so much about self-compassion thanks to her moving and nourishing words. Her free series of guided meditations called ‘Live Awake’ has changed me.

As I share with you what I’ve learned about choosing your perspective and being compassionate her Life is Kind meditation feels most relevant.

So how was 2018 for you? Just another year? The worse year ever? Your best year yet?

Were you hurt? Were you loved? Did you fail? Did you learn? Did you quit? Did you start? Did you lose? Did you grow?

The wonder of it all, is that you now get to decide your 2018 story.

I invite you to choose wisely. And I invite you to choose kindly.

I want to leave you with a beautiful song that one of my beloved coaching clients sent me last week (she said it reminds me of her which is a huge compliment). This song both sums up how I am feeling about life right now and offers a perspective that you might like to adopt as you welcome in 2019 – You Have to Dance.

Wishing you a magical start to 2019 (and if you are London based we now have just one early bird ticket left for The Beginning on Sat 12th Jan!)

Remember today and tomorrow are always new beginnings for whatever you choose.